So, I think I should probably change my blog name and my header picture. Sad.
If only I knew what I was going to do with my life at this point, that might help the whole situation. Unfortunately, my future is wide open and I have no idea which direction to go. Remember how I'm 28? Yeah.
Oh, and did you hear about how I started to cry yesterday during church because I miss Paris, going to church in French, cheese, bread, public parks (not that there aren't any here, but still...), public transportation (gasp!), and all of my wonderful friends there?
I have problems. (Not to worry, though, it wasn't like anyone saw or heard me--it was during the closing prayer. Just a little bit of "homesickness." If you can even BE homesick for somewhere you only lived for 5 months.)
There is a word in French that I can't find a good translation for in English, but it sums up perfectly how I feel: dépaysée. The closest translation I can come up with is "uprooted" or "a fish out of water" but the root of this word is pays, which means "country". Then you tack the "de-" on the front and the "-ée" on the back, and you've got "un-country-ed." I feel like a person without a country. Not to the extreme, really. But I feel like I don't really belong where I am, and I didn't really belong in France either.
I'm a wierd sort of Franco-American cultural mutt. Heaven help me.
4 comments:
Yesterday at the grocery store here in my tiny little town, I heard a family speaking French. Being as how I still worry about how well I speak, I just stood next to the deli meat and listened to them speak, wistfully wishing I could be back in France.
Good luck figuring out a new name for your blog!
Well, mutts are always the cutest and most loyal kind of pet. So, you could do worse.
Why don't you name your blog something like "Disappearing dépaysée" or "Temporary dépaysée" or "Adventures of a Mutt Fish Out of Waterish"? :)
I agree with The Queen. Those are great names. As much as I would hate to see you go, maybe it's time to try for a job in Switzerland? :)
In Korean there's a word for which there's no translation in English. It's made up of two words that do - refreshing and sad. Coming home from a place you've loved is refreshingly sad (see, doesn't make sense, except it kind of does, weirdly). You're glad to be home, you've missed those you love... But you're not the same, they're not the same, and you'll miss the places/experiences you've had...
So I feel ya'. I do.
Whatever you name your blog I hope you don't mind my perusing occasionally and making inane comments... :-)
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